What to do When Your Parent will not Listen to You

January 12, 2017

Senior Care in Nassau NY

It can be difficult to watch an elderly parent make poor decisions or mistakes. While you may have the best of intentions when trying to help your loved one make the right choices, they may refuse to listen to your advice. There are a number of reasons they may have trouble following your advice. It could have something to do with the fact that they are in denial that they are getting older. Or perhaps they still think of you as their child instead of an adult. Whatever their reason, the following tips will help you get your voice and reasoning through to your stubborn parent.

If you do not succeed at first, try again. It will most likely take several attempts at talking to them before they are willing to listen. As long as you continue to try discussing your concerns, the elder will eventually be ready to hear what you have to say.

Watch your tone. Although your loved one is having trouble making some decisions for themselves, you still need to be respectful. Avoid nagging, being demanding, pushing, or arguing with the senior. You will probably feel frustrated, but it is also important to stay calm. Slamming doors, yelling, and arguing will only make the situation worse, possibly resulting in a strained relationship between you two.

Be understanding. Try putting yourself in the shoes of the elder in order to get a better idea of how they are feeling. You may have better luck talking to them if your statements begin like, “I know how frustrating this must be for you, but these are my concerns.”

Get professional help. The senior may find it difficult taking advice from their adult child, but not from a professional. A senior care provider can be hired to watch over your loved one and make sure they are making the right choices. The senior’s doctor, physical therapist, or other medical professional may also be able to talk to your loved one.

Get outside support. There is no reason you should have to care for your parent alone. Ask siblings and other family members to step in and help. They can also talk with the elder as a way to voice your concerns.

Your elderly parent may currently find it challenging to listen to others make choices as to how they should be living. With these tips, your loved one and you will be able to have much-needed conversations.

If you or an aging loved one are considering senior care in Nassau, NY, contact Star One Home Care and Medical Staffing at 718-733-2222 or 914-362-0899.  Call today!


Patricia Coffie, RN, BSN, MFA

Patricia Coffie, RN, BSN, MFA

Director of Client Services at Star One Home Care
Patricia Coffie, RN, BSN, MFA is Director of Client Services & Director of Phoenix Nurse Aide Training Center. Before assuming the post in 2012, Patricia was the Director or Nursing & Service Delivery at WRC for 3 years where she was the strategic lead for nursing and services to members.

Patricia started her nursing career 19 years ago at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and research institution in New York City, and since then has gained experience in Adult Intensive Care Units (ICU) , Pediatric Care (PICU ), Operating Room (OR) , mental health and community settings. She later moved into director of nursing roles, where she obtained extensive experience in leading and developing the nursing profession. She also pioneered good partnership working with other health care organizations, as well as social services, and the wider community.
Patricia Coffie, RN, BSN, MFA

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